Happy July 4th Everyone! Here is a draft of a post I started writing on New Years Day. The first day of my cleansing. But it was somehow unpublished. I just want to be able to document my growth as a person. Enjoy!
When education and relationships fuse
First off I would like to start off by saying HAPPY NEW YEAR my beautiful readers! This is my first post of 2013 and I would like to take a vow of consistency this year. Therefore, I will be making an effort to post twice a week. I currently have some issues with my computer (my baby burned out) but I love writing so were going to make it happen somehow, someway.
So...I am currently going through some issues with my friends from school and I thought I should reflect on this because I am sure we all have these problems.
Now I've always hated clicks. And I guess that's why I am so shy. However, since high school I've always tried to socialize with many different groups of people rendering myself versatile and friendly. I did not want to feel as if I belonged to one group but hey no matter how hard you fight it, no matter what age or setting, there are always going to be CLICKS.
My freshman year I met a lot of people but this was the second year of my 5 year relationship and I'm sure you know that at that stage you're pretty much glued to his side and on top of that I was EXTREMELY homesick. And this lasted for about two years. So I pretty much had a small circle of friends and a bunch of acquaintances.
I met these girls my freshman year who I eventually ended up becoming roommates with and all hell went down! That's when I realized that you really can't dorm with friends. Long story short we've been "friends" ever since. There is still a lot of unresolved tension between us and since I am the "most" un-confrontational friend in the bunch the problems seemingly always revolve around me and my roommate in the suite. Now I always told that "your going to meet some of your best friends in college..." But what happened to me because it seems like I somehow skipped that stage. What is fake anyway?
Fake (my definition) : A person or thing that causes unnecessary drama by conspiring and spreading information about particular individuals with the awareness that the drama can manifest.
I just like peace. I'm unconfrontational. What's the difference?
Thursday, July 4, 2013
The Evolution of Social Interactions
As time goes on, the more I question the value of my friendships. Being a person surrounded by so many friends, how do I remain so lonely. Not to say I don't like my solitude just wondering how its possible. I mean I literally have about 5-6 circles of friends. Thats my best friends, my college friends, my church friends, my coworkers (new and old), miscellaneous and mutual friends and my boyfriends to say the least....Im surrounded by so much love and support but yet its painful to call people sometimes. I normally hate phone conversations unless i'm speaking to a lover i'm comfortable having a phone conversation with. Its ironic how I can speak for hours on the phone with a lover but dread speaking hours on the phone with a relative or friend. Unless the conversation is really intriguing, I just can not enjoy it. Maybe I'm deflecting my friends. My sister unlike me is able to randomly call friends and relatives and just speak. Its not that I don't like speaking because I Can Ramble! (As you can see) But Id rather do the talking in person. In my lifetime, I will make it my responsibility to understand the evolution of social interactions. As technology becomes more advanced, the way we value our friendships will be altered and I am interested in discovering why. Meanwhile, I sometimes cry myself to sleep with bottled up emotions that im afraid of sharing because of past experiences with judgement. This is torture of the worst kind.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Happiness
Happiness is found in the quality of the relationships that we have with one another...
So how do we know who is truly a friend when we are living in a world full of mentiosos (liers). We all know people lie to protect themselves. Its only human. So play the same game. Be open and honest but not too honest. A person can tell if your honest by your body language and eye contact. Your honesty will make them more comfortable if they are normal. As they open up pay attention to their lifestyle and continue to reevaluate the stories you hear. This way you can tell if there are any open gaps in their stories.
While you are forming these friendships/relationships remember to always smile and exude happiness. Its so crucial. You will attract more positive, happy, and honest people.
Never let a man steal your happiness I'm sure you've heard it before. Well you should always be the provocateur of your own life. Don't let him see your light dim. Its unnatractive. If he sees that he can walk away with your happiness then he knows he can control you and that is no bueno.
Finally, protect you heart, think with your brain-be logical and critical. Don't be afraid to be blunt. You'll be surprised by the amount of people who love that. Pay attention to the type of people you get along best with. In the process be a good, loving person. Be nice but not a doormat and you will forever be blessed. God sees this. Educate yourself, Exercise DON'T INTERNALIZE!
UNTIL NEXT TIME...
So how do we know who is truly a friend when we are living in a world full of mentiosos (liers). We all know people lie to protect themselves. Its only human. So play the same game. Be open and honest but not too honest. A person can tell if your honest by your body language and eye contact. Your honesty will make them more comfortable if they are normal. As they open up pay attention to their lifestyle and continue to reevaluate the stories you hear. This way you can tell if there are any open gaps in their stories.
While you are forming these friendships/relationships remember to always smile and exude happiness. Its so crucial. You will attract more positive, happy, and honest people.
Never let a man steal your happiness I'm sure you've heard it before. Well you should always be the provocateur of your own life. Don't let him see your light dim. Its unnatractive. If he sees that he can walk away with your happiness then he knows he can control you and that is no bueno.
Finally, protect you heart, think with your brain-be logical and critical. Don't be afraid to be blunt. You'll be surprised by the amount of people who love that. Pay attention to the type of people you get along best with. In the process be a good, loving person. Be nice but not a doormat and you will forever be blessed. God sees this. Educate yourself, Exercise DON'T INTERNALIZE!
UNTIL NEXT TIME...
Me Parece Que No!
Me Parece Que No! - I Don't Think So!
Why is it that when you suddenly become attracted to someone or like someone every scent reminds you of them? I guess its the strength of our amygdalas. Some times I just feel like the scent does not escape me. At least for the first two days. And I hate it because it makes you think about the person. And don't let him give you perfume as a gift. Unless you want to be obsessively enamored by your thoughts of him, pay it forward by giving the perfume to someone as a gift, hide it or throw it out. That scent will haunt you! It's about being strong minded and having a good sense of your own values. And for goodness sake when you meet men at bars or clubs, no matter how drunk they are, Ladies, DO NOT LET THEM GROPE YOU! They will try just to test your hoe-ishness but NO. You are strong, beautiful and definitely worthy. You are a Queen. :)
Why is it that when you suddenly become attracted to someone or like someone every scent reminds you of them? I guess its the strength of our amygdalas. Some times I just feel like the scent does not escape me. At least for the first two days. And I hate it because it makes you think about the person. And don't let him give you perfume as a gift. Unless you want to be obsessively enamored by your thoughts of him, pay it forward by giving the perfume to someone as a gift, hide it or throw it out. That scent will haunt you! It's about being strong minded and having a good sense of your own values. And for goodness sake when you meet men at bars or clubs, no matter how drunk they are, Ladies, DO NOT LET THEM GROPE YOU! They will try just to test your hoe-ishness but NO. You are strong, beautiful and definitely worthy. You are a Queen. :)
Monday, October 15, 2012
The Evolution of My Love Life and Strange New Old Guy Attraction
I started dating men over this summer (2012). I know a bit late right? Well I've been in a 5 year relationship since I was 17. He was the first and only boyfriend I had. Therefore he was the one and only person I dated. And I wouldn't actually consider it dating because we were young and committed to having something more than the little casual outings.
So early this year my boyfriend decided to ask me something that he has been trying to get me to consider for the last 3 years, An Open Relationship! Its the worst because they never really work. But that's another topic. I finally decided to do it after my boyfriend revealed to me that he was indeed flirting and talking to other women. :(. We've never been on a real break and I was afraid he would eventually cheat on me. In addition to that I already had someone in mind to take advantage of this opportunity with.
However, after months of talking about this I did not realize how serious he was about the open relationship only benefiting him and not me. Not fair right? He did not want me to be with anyone else. I wish he had reinforced this because the instant I found out he was taking home girl to the movies, I started texting and flirting with other guys. These guys were either my age or older than me but no older than 26.
But it was a very weird feeling because I was finally talking to all types of men with different perspectives and my guards were really up. I was also a bit jealous of this new relationship my boyfriend had with these supposed "other womEn" (I eventually found out it was just one girl). For me on the other hand I was not talking to just one guy.
The crux of my story is: Why in the world was I attracting men 30 and up over the summer? Something that was very unusual before my dating experience. This was not the first time i've been approached other guys. Most of my encounters in the past have been younger men or men my age but 2012 was just the year of the older guys. Maybe it was my energy but don't get me wrong I liked it. I love the maturity and the success. I guess my recent success as a college graduate attracted other successful college graduates. But I take that back they all weren't successful, older but not all successful lol.
For example, Saturday night I was out with my friends visiting my college. I met a guy at the bar, an army guy and guess how old he was...31. Like what the hell. What a diversion. It seems like every encounter now. My new encounters this summer has provoked my interest in older men but we will see how far this goes.
Friday, September 28, 2012
If the friendship is going nowhere, then you must jump ship...
If the friend-SHIP is going nowhere, then you must jump SHIP...
Sometimes I ponder about all of the people that have entered and exited in this phenomenon I call my life and how different my life is now compared to what it used to be.
Yea we all grow up and move on and yea i'm very satisfied with my small circle of friends but I can't help but think about how much I have recycled friends in the past.
It happened naturally and reflecting on it now I understand the importance of attraction as far as attracting healthy and toxic relationships.
If your energy is predominantly negative, you are most likely going to attract negative, toxic relations.
Its just universal law...
Therefore, I try to stay positive now and exhibit high standards for any type of relationship
But i'm still working on how to foresee certain caveats of a negative relationship with people because usually I am way too nice and assume others are the same which leads to me eventually being hurt in the end.
Or
People will enter into my life temporarily and I will somehow be aware of this but yet I still allow myself to emotionally succumb to that person and over trust them.
Over trusting is dangerous
I need to learn how to counteract those emotions without becoming emotionless, stoic, aloof, you know what I mean
So instead of being so optimistic and trying to pick up the pieces and make things work, i'm learning how to let go. Its not necessary to hold on to rotten relationships. If that person really wants to be in my life they will fight to be in it because I know I will.
Sometimes I ponder about all of the people that have entered and exited in this phenomenon I call my life and how different my life is now compared to what it used to be.
Yea we all grow up and move on and yea i'm very satisfied with my small circle of friends but I can't help but think about how much I have recycled friends in the past.
It happened naturally and reflecting on it now I understand the importance of attraction as far as attracting healthy and toxic relationships.
If your energy is predominantly negative, you are most likely going to attract negative, toxic relations.
Its just universal law...
Therefore, I try to stay positive now and exhibit high standards for any type of relationship
But i'm still working on how to foresee certain caveats of a negative relationship with people because usually I am way too nice and assume others are the same which leads to me eventually being hurt in the end.
Or
People will enter into my life temporarily and I will somehow be aware of this but yet I still allow myself to emotionally succumb to that person and over trust them.
Over trusting is dangerous
I need to learn how to counteract those emotions without becoming emotionless, stoic, aloof, you know what I mean
So instead of being so optimistic and trying to pick up the pieces and make things work, i'm learning how to let go. Its not necessary to hold on to rotten relationships. If that person really wants to be in my life they will fight to be in it because I know I will.
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